Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Kosher Kiwi Found Dead in Blizzard: Blog Moving


In what appears to be the latest tragedy of the two-thousand mile long snow storm that has impacted one-third of Americans, a small kiwi was found frozen solid by authorities on the side of a street this afternoon in Stoughton, Wisconsin.

"It's just tragic," said Olaf Pflaum, of the Wisconsin Bird Association. "Kiwi are seldom seen this far north. They are an indiginous bird to some country in the South Pacific. New Zealand, I think. And they are flightless, which makes this one's trek all the more remarkable."

Pflaum speculates that the bird probably walked all the way to Wisconsin from its port of entry, most likely Los Angeles. "Poor little thing. Walked all this way just to get stuck in a snowstorm. I'll never forget its little lifeless eyes staring up at me from the snow as long as I live," he said, and promptly blew his nose.

The bird had no identification on it, other than a small label taped to its left leg. We reproduce the contents of the label here in full:

"I am the Kosher Kiwi. In the event of my death, my journey has come to an end. Please go to: http://contemplativekiwi.blogspot.com/."

Authorities have fanned out in the immediate area and are listening for birdcalls in an attempt to notify next of kin.

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